Sore loser?...I think not!!

Do you believe that "nice" can be used as a weapon?  To lull you into a supposed kinship, or to pour salt on a wound, for example.

I think that there are some women, who consciously use "nice" to piss you off.  Let's take a tennis match.  You arrive at your opponents club, ready to take on the enemy.  Only, the "enemy" comes over to welcome you, which is nice (no quotation marks) and then proceeds to point out what court you'll be warming up on, where you can fill your water bottles, where to find the bathroom and her availability if we should have any more questions.  All with a huge megawatt smile on her face.

Then the match starts.  This same "nice" person turns into a killer on the court.  All business!  No more Mrs. nice guy.  But that's ok because we came for a competition and it's easier to take down the enemy rather than a "friend".  So, in one way,  women use "nice" to lull you into a kind of friendship before and even during a match.  All chit chatty and giggly....until they turn on you and decide that a ball in the face would be more fun than a tete a tete.  No matter!  This is the competition that keeps us coming back for more, right?!

Unfortunately, you can only react to so many balls being shot at your head, and you lose the match.  Damn.  We hate losing!  Everyone hates losing!  Especially a tight match.  You just want to shake hands and get the hell out of dodge, so you can drown your sorrows over a great bottle of wine with your teammates.  But wait, here she comes with the megawatt smile again.  "What a great match!  You played so well.  That was a lot of fun.  Do you want to continue and hit some balls?" WHAT!!!  Doesn't it piss you off when you lose a match and the opponent comes over to say all this crap that you really don't want to hear right now?  It wouldn't be so bad if all the calls were good, there were no arguments during the match and you weren't her favorite smash target.  But when it doesn't go as well as it should (it never does in the S.H.I.T league) the last thing you want to do is have to exchange pleasantries with the winners.  THIS ISN'T SUMMER TENNIS PEOPLE!!!

Oh no, here she comes again, as we are leaving the club "Thanks again for coming to our club (as if we had a choice) we wish you all a great weekend!" Easy for you to say....you're the winner.

Just wait until you get to our home turf.  We'll be so sweet you'll be begging for milk!

Nice, indeed!!!




(FYI you can purchase this print at collectorsprints.com.  It's called the losers revenge.)

2012 - The Year of the Funeral

Is there any way to put a positive spin on funerals?  I've been to 3 in the first 2 weeks of January and we have another one coming up either this week or next.

I consider myself to be a pretty positive person, but I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to be upbeat with so much death surrounding our family and friends this year.

I planned to have a party this weekend and I invited my girlfriend, who has been at the same funerals as me, to join me in trying to drown our sorrows together.  She had the added stress of a botched kitchen reno and a father who has been diagnosed with brain cancer.  We really needed a drink, or two, or three. We were all set to tie one on and move on from all the negative vibes, when her grandmother and Matriarch of her family, arrived home by emergency transport from Florida yesterday and she is now breathing her last breaths at the Jewish.  WTF!!!

One of my friends joked that she's not going to hang with me this year because of all the death surrounding me.  I appreciate the joke, any joke, because I need to laugh to replace all the crying I've been doing.  I'm starting to look as old as I actually am...that's not good!  The bags under my eyes are packing bags and moving out of the flood zone.  The grocery store has run out of cucumbers and tea bags!

Depression doesn't suit me so I need you to cheer me up while I struggle to make sense of 2012 - The year of the Funeral.

(Even my first post of 2012 is depressing!  Somebody save me!)